Wednesday, November 23, 2005

NBC Hack-a-thon, Part XVI: Andrea Mitchell

David Fiderer at HuffPo does a number on Andrea Mitchell's inexcuseable handling of the Plame case.

Ms. Mitchell really needs to think about finding a new career. Now that the pesky bloggers have started logging her malfeasance, and hubby Greenspan is about to hang up his cleats, maybe she'll consider retiring from doing network news.

But Ms. Mitchell has made a significant investment of time and money in preserving her network TV-quality appearance. If that is a factor in her decisionmaking, I think I have a creative solution. Why not try your hand at the pro poker circuit?

Learning the odds is pretty simple. What separates pedestrian from shark (and fool from money) is skill in bluffing. Ms. Mitchell already possesses some rare attributes that would make her a strong competitor. First, she is obviously comfortable lying her ass off. As valuable a skill as that is, she also has a much rarer attribute. A great poker player is always searching the opponent's face for a "tell"-- the hint of a smile, or a twitch, or some other way to read the opponent's hand in his or her face.

And that is where Mitchell will have her opponents at a disadvantage. Next time you see Mitchell on air, ignore the sound and just watch the upper two-thirds of her face. Nothing, and I really mean nothing, moves. If a Pixar character was as expressionless, the critics would savage the animation as lifeless. Whether the result of a few gallons of Botox or some more drastic technique, her face is a card shark's dream. The only way she is going to telegraph her hand is by holding her cards face out. Poker would be like stealing candy from a baby for her.

Which would be a huge moral step up from what she is doing now.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

great post !!! filleting skin off the carcass - and she is a craven wench, is she not ??

11:17 PM  
Blogger Rose Austin said...

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12:23 PM  

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