Tuesday, November 16, 2004

For Sale on eBay: Virgin Mary on grilled cheese sandwich

I am trying. It might not always look like it, but I am trying, like the boy who said "there must be a pony in here somewhere," to find the upside in our steaming national turd pile. I am trying to find things I have in common with my red state brethren and sistren.

But what am I to do when my Dr. sends me this:

The Internet auction house eBay Inc. reversed itself Tuesday and is allowing bids for half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich that its owner says bears the image of the Virgin Mary.

Diana Duyser, of Hollywood, put the sandwich up for sale last week, drawing bids as high as $22,000 before eBay pulled the item Sunday night. The page was viewed almost 100,000 times before being taken down.

An e-mail Duyser received from eBay said the sandwich broke its policy, which "does not allow listings that are intended as jokes."

But Duyser, a work-from-home jewelry designer who has bought and sold items on eBay for two years, said the grilled cheese wasn't a joke.

I am having trouble relating here. It has been many years since I ate a grilled cheese sandwich. It has also been many years since, hypothetically speaking, people I knew might have known other people who had friends who might have ingested substances known to cause symptoms like seeing religious icons on grilled cheese sandwiches. But more to the point, I am reasonably certain that I do not know a single human being in my blue world who would pay $22,000 for half (dare one ask what happened to the other half?) of a decade-old grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary.

If you have suggestions as to how this gap can be bridged, please do pipe up. So to speak.


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