Friday, July 21, 2006

Do we get Ginsu knives, too?

OK, I'm hooked. Every since Rapture Ready popped into Left Blogostan's collective consciousness last week, I've been strolling through every day or so to sample their philosophical wares. Today I clicked through on "Instant Nullification," assuming that Mr. James would describe how the body housing my agnostic soul was going to be incinerated when Jesus came back to clean up the 'hood, but no:

I really don't think many of us realize what an incredible transformation the rapture implies. Any situation in your life that appears to have you in its grasp will remain down here the day you're caught up into glory. If you're like me, I can think of several situations that I would love to leave behind. I've listed below some of the prime examples of why someone should wish for instantaneous nullification:

    • Health problems
    • Problems on the job
    • Moral failures
    • Economic hardships
    • Legal problems
    • Business failure
    • Marital or relationship difficulties
    • Trouble in school
    • Mental distress

Here are some more specific situations that may or may not apply to you:

    • Your only friend in life chases squirrels and goes by the name Fido.
    • You're so sickly that your life insurance company will only carry you on a week-to-week basis.
    • In school, you're failing everything except study hall and lunch.
    • Your children are into so much trouble that the police have more pictures of them than you do.
    • Everyone else's money talks--yours only stutters.
    • Your car is so rusted it weighs half of what it did brand new.
    • Your web page is getting two hits a day--you and your brother.
    • You're not affected by financial reversals. You're already broke.
    • You had to let your maid go because your husband wouldn't.
    • As a child, both of your parents helped you run away from home.

Better than an intervention by Dr. Phil and a link from Atrios combined.


Blogger Eric Soderstrom said...

Maybe they should have a more personal relationship with Jesus and try for an "Individual Rapture." Leave all of those cares behind.

Does anyone here read Robert Anton Wilson and how there were groups out to "accelerate the eschaton?"

3:16 PM  
Blogger bluememe said...

Of the many benefits I will experience post-rapture, increased blog traffic is clearly the most precious.

I can't wait.

11:15 PM  

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