Friday, October 14, 2005

Pastafarians Rejoice!

The full-spectrum light box will remain dark today, and I don't even need any indictments to cheer me up: The Proof is incontrovertible!

Researchers Uncover 4,000-Year-Old Chinese Noodles

And you thought your leftovers were old. A 4,000-year-old bowl of noodles has been discovered at an archaeological site in western China -- possible proof for the argument that China invented pasta before Italy.

"These are definitely the earliest noodles ever found," said Lu Houyuan, a researcher with the Institute of Geology in Beijing who studied the ingredients of the pristinely preserved pasta.

The discovery of the delicate yellow noodles in Minhe County in China's western province of Qinghai is reported in this week's edition of Nature magazine.


The fist-size clump of noodles was found inside an overturned bowl under three meters (10 feet) of sediment from a flood that researchers suspect wiped out the Qijia Culture of the Late Neolithic era.

When researchers lifted up the bowl, they discovered the 50-centimeter-long (20-inch-long) noodles sitting atop an inverted cone of clay that had sealed the bowl, it said.

Speculation as to the significance of this discovery runs rampant this morning--the Creator himself? Evidence of organized FSM-worship predating Christianity by thousands of years? There is much to learn, but these events render the Shroud of Turin as little more than an overhyped beach blanket. All over the world tonight, true believers can savor their linguini, ramen, and Spaghetti-O's comforted by the knowledge that hard science has affirmed the importance of this ritual.

And lo, to those who doubt the validity of this Great Discovery because there were no meatballs present, I remind you of the words of that High Priest of Pasta, Secondo, in Big Night: "Sometimes the spaghetti wants to be alone."


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