Sunday, February 13, 2005

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, gets the Grammys

"Tell me, Triumph, are you excited that your CD, 'Come Poop With Me,' has been nominated for a Grammy Award, in the category Best Comedy Album?

It's all a big sham. Remember, the voters are from the music industry.

Are you suggesting that the voters never actually bother to listen to the CD's they recommend for awards?

Believe me, if the voters had bothered to listen to my CD, it would never have been nominated. My CD is disgusting, degrading filth, and I'm offended to be included.

Indeed, that may explain why the producers of the Grammys declined to make you a presenter, despite repeated requests from your record company.

It's disgraceful. It's continuing fallout from last year's Super Bowl halftime show. Why do I have to pay for Janet Jackson? I should be up on that stage. Everyone knows it.

The Grammy judges are notorious for bad choices, so you might actually win.

In that case it will be the first Grammy to ever go to an album with a song dedicated to roundworm."


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